Some Light‑hearted Psychology Reads

Preface
Lately, I’ve been reading various psychology‑related books on the subway during my commute—some of them not even strictly scientific psychology. They’re all fascinating reads that brighten my crowded morning rides and help me unwind on the way home at night. That’s probably why I’ve become so hooked on reading lately. So I’m putting together this article to catalog and record them.

🌟 These are my personal recommendation scores, for reference only.

🌟 The Philosophy of Cats and Dogs (《猫和狗的生活哲学》)

Douban rating 8.4

This is a comic booklet published by Simple Psychology, starring a cat and a dog as the protagonists.

My experience with the first chapter is already excellent—the comics are fun, and each ending includes a brief popular‑psychology explanation. It’s a light, pressure‑free read. Most importantly, the content itself is low‑stress; the first chapter’s theme is “Always Keep the Right to Lie Flat.”

Below are some rough excerpts from the comics:

Chapter 1: The Philosophy of “Lying Flat” – Remember to Defend Your Right to Be a “Useless” Person

• Don’t push “uselessness”: Things you’re willing to do lose their appeal the moment you’re urged. Bottom line: stop the pressure!
• “Be a short‑term useless person” and learn self‑acceptance. Constant self‑criticism and denial won’t bring change.
• When the body is exhausted we rest; when emotions are depleted, stop forcing yourself to “be more excited.”
• In a fast‑paced society, depression, anxiety, and loneliness may actually be the norm.
• Take time to savor food—eat for “taste,” not just sustenance.
• Be more tolerant of life’s boring moments. Life is long; don’t stress over a single minute.
• Beware of “passive‑aggressive politeness”; reject coercive requests for help.
• Authentic self: self‑consistency refers to the alignment between one’s actions and their attitudes, beliefs, and values. When external standards clash with inner standards, acting according to personal values is a brave act!

Chapter 2: The Philosophy of Healing – Some Wounds Need Time to Mend

• “I love you even when you fail” is better than “I believe you’ll succeed.”
• Say goodbye to the “fear of being left behind.” There are countless ways to succeed, yet people keep trying to copy a single success template; individual differences are ignored. You don’t have to chase the crowd. Your destination may not be the mountaintop.
• The most common emotional blackmail is guilt: manipulators tie their pain to your actions, making you feel responsible and turning their demands into your obligations. If you keep compromising out of guilt, be alert: some of their pain they must resolve themselves, not you.
• A healthy way to cope with trauma is “living in the present” – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which means accepting your emotions, connecting with the here‑and‑now, and taking genuine, effective action.
• Spot “FOMO” (fear of missing out) – anxiety born from being overly attached to outcomes. Yet the most important thing is happening right now, and the most important person is sitting beside you.
• Loss is inevitable. Grief healing is a process that takes time; don’t rush yourself out of it. As the film says: “Allow the waves of sorrow to crash on the shore again and again, bravely facing each one until a new strength rises from the darkest corner of your heart. Only after mourning can you set out anew.”
• Psychologist Elisabeth Kübler‑Ross identified the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
• When a friend is crying, give them a safe space and allow them to release freely—that’s the best response.
• “For your own good” sounds righteous but often masks using others to manage your own emotions. Every adult has their own life, values, behaviors, and responsibilities. We don’t need “for your good”; we need “to be good for ourselves.”
• Anxiety is a normal response to threat and serves a protective role. Since no one can escape anxiety, let’s learn to coexist peacefully with it.

Chapter 3: The Philosophy of Healing – Sometimes “Being Down” Becomes the Norm

• When someone you love shows signs of depression, what should you do? Accompany them. Be a good listener, encourage them to talk about their feelings, and resist the urge to “fix” them. Patience matters.
• Depression is not “pretentious,” “immature,” or “just overthinking”; it’s a common mental disorder characterized by persistent low mood, reduced appetite and drive, loss of interest, pessimism, slowed thinking, irritability, and self‑blame. Besides the pain of the condition itself, patients often feel misunderstood, as if they’re climbing out of a fog only to sink deeper.
• The best comfort isn’t a lecture from a bystander's perspective, but stepping into their shoes, sensing the effort they make in an uncomfortable situation, and reflecting the helplessness, fatigue, and sadness they may feel—like a mirror reflecting their inner world.
• Positive, free solitude is essentially “active alone‑time.” Even with good social connections, reserve moments for yourself to observe, sense reality, filter out external noise, and focus on inner thought.
• Winter depression is also called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Do more things and see more people that bring you joy.
• It’s okay to turn a cold shoulder when needed. If something feels off, honestly express your feelings to the other person.
• Being authentic is always the first principle of happiness.
• Accept and express your true self; reject perfectionist labels.
• Depression is a normal part of life, and it can be valuable: psychologist Klein noted two mental positions—paranoid‑splitting (where one stops thinking and just “passes the buck”) and depressive (where one reflects deeply).
• Smiling should be a choice, not a habit. It should stem from genuine joy, not serve as a tool to ease awkwardness.
• Crying doesn’t solve problems? No, crying is a solution. It doesn’t signal weakness, nor is it the opposite of strength. If you need to cry, do it.
• What we call “strength” often masks a repressive defense mechanism that buries sadness and pain in the subconscious, leaving us temporarily numb. Over time those unprocessed emotions can explode, leading to deeper depression, collapse, and meaninglessness.
• In psychology, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) isn’t a disorder but a stable personality trait. HSPs tend to have stronger empathy and deeper reflection. Studies show they manage their own feelings and reactions better than others. If you’re an HSP, you don’t need to conform to societal expectations; you can embrace your nature and find your own “peaceful happiness.”

My takeaway: Accept your emotions, accept yourself, and don’t let entrenched ideas, social demands, or stereotypes limit you.

Chapter 4: The Philosophy of Freedom – Learn to Love Your Own Choices

• Psychological boundaries are like the borders of your personal kingdom, governing how you allocate time, energy, emotions, thoughts, money, and possessions. Someone with clear boundaries can say “no” when rules are broken; someone without them tends to suppress themselves and sacrifice. Thus, healthy boundaries are the foundation of equal relationships. Set your own boundaries first, then you’ll respect others’; care for yourself before you can truly care for others.
• Life is essentially an improvisational performance. When unexpected problems arise, rather than panic, first accept the fact that it’s happened, then consider how to move forward. Say “yes” first, then think “and…”.
• Psychologists say that freedom is the ability to make autonomous choices and bear the consequences even while feeling constrained. Freedom isn’t “do anything”; it’s doing as much as you want without harming others. So if you suddenly feel like doing something, just do it.
• Often we resort to “throwing in the towel” because we fear impending failure. That fear stems from an inability to let go of the perfect‑self fantasy and confront an imperfect, flawed self. We then blame failure on “lack of effort” (a controllable factor) rather than on insufficient ability, protecting our fragile ego. People stuck in this pattern appear carefree outwardly but feel chronic defeat inside. Accept your ordinary self; ordinariness brings joy.
• Be brave enough to show your true self. In interactions, voluntarily share your inner feelings and information authentically.
• When we keep postponing tasks with endless trivialities, our subconscious may be avoiding the core issue. Fear is a product of the mind. You can dodge a task temporarily, but you can’t escape your inner self. Next time you feel the urge to run, pause, tear down the imagined barrier, and face it head‑on.
• The truly effective solution is often the simplest: state your need directly, allowing the other person to accept or decline plainly. Simplify complex thoughts to conserve mental energy for action.
• Permit and encourage the expression of refusal and anger.
• If someone around you constantly sacrifices themselves silently, give them a hug, pat their head, and sincerely say, “You’re really wonderful.”
• Over‑striving for the “right” choice leads to decision paralysis. The “right” standard is impossible to pin down; even after choosing, the road not taken keeps whispering that you may have erred. So replace “right” with “what I like.” Your preferences increase the chance that the choice feels right. Learning to love your own choices may be the best choice of all.

🌟 I Have a Black Dog Called Depression (《我有一只叫抑郁症的黑狗》)

Douban rating 8.4

It’s a thin comic book you can flip through in under half an hour.

Yet it offers a detailed portrayal of what it’s like to live with depression, even presenting the perspective of caregivers—a rare and much‑needed angle.

From this book you’ll learn that:

1. Depression is a medical condition, not “pretentiousness,” “immaturity,” or “just not being able to think straight.” Professional help is essential.
2. As a caregiver, you’ll discover how to look after the person with depression and yourself.

May everyone live without a black dog. If you do have one, trust that you can learn to coexist with it.

Note: If you don’t feel like reading, you can watch the accompanying video instead.

How to Hug a Hedgehog (《如何拥抱一只刺猬》)

⟦TOK2⟆

Douban rating 7.2

The author likens every person in a romantic relationship to a hedgehog, then explores the traits of different “hedgehog personalities,” how to date each type, and what each type should do.

First, a disclaimer: I’m not a fan of this personality‑type taxonomy; it feels overly label‑heavy. Humans are complex, often embodying multiple traits at once.

That said, the book still works for me as long as I keep reminding myself of its limits. It helped me understand many people’s stories, why they became who they are, and the psychological motivations behind their behaviors—essentially a lesson in emotional intelligence and empathy.

In short, reading stories is valuable. Humans are inherently complicated.

Growing Up Again (《重新长大》)

⟦TOK3⟆

Respect, understanding, and freedom are deep‑seated longings in every heart.

Yet adult life is filled with “can’t do it,” pressure, exhaustion, the need to keep moving, the prohibition against crying, the façade of “everything’s fine,” and the habit of only reporting successes.

Imagine an “adult kindergarten” where you could simply be yourself again.

In this adult kindergarten we revisit childhood and the past, get to know ourselves, and learn to…

• Refuse others without meekly yielding; express emotions regardless of whether others understand or accept them (Xǔ Yuàn).
• Give unconditional love, and in receiving love and respect, learn how to love and respect others (Zhāng Wén).
• Distinguish love from control, avoiding over‑control; manage personal insecurities without projecting them onto others (Wáng Xiǎojié).
• Understand, care for, and nurture oneself, especially when hurt—recognizing that being hurt isn’t your fault (Cài Jūn).
• Practice equality and fairness, rejecting the notion that certain roles are “born” (e.g., male breadwinner, older sibling must care for younger ones) (Gāo Yuànzhāo).
• Take responsibility for your own emotions, and stop taking responsibility for others’ feelings (Mǎ Lì).
• Set safe personal boundaries and maintain them with others, refusing to be blackmailed by “I’ll sacrifice for you” (Liú Fāng).
• Accept, appreciate, and unconditionally love yourself, becoming your own #1 fan (Yú Mènglán).
• Define your life boldly, refusing to be limited by societal or external definitions; keep striving toward your ideals and goals (Jiǎng Hóng’ān).
• Seek help from the outside world, speak up bravely, learn to say goodbye, and be courageous (Wáng Xuéyōu).

Reading this book felt like seeing familiar stories, familiar words, and even glimpses of myself.

I sincerely hope each of us can love and be loved. ❤️

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⟦TOK4⟆

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Originally written by Estela Young and published in Chinese on 一只产品汪的自白. Translated and edited for DriftSeas with permission.