How to Handle Being Undermined at Work

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Case Review

Case 1: Xiaoma is diligent and responsible, but his supervisor constantly nitpicks his work, shares his output with others or claims it as their own, and even criticizes or undermines him publicly, crushing his motivation. Because of economic and career-specific reasons, he can’t easily change jobs. How should he respond to this situation?

Case 2: Xiaoniu is highly capable and consistently delivers outstanding results, but his supervisor fears that Xiaoniu threatens his own position. Consequently, the supervisor deliberately withholds important assignments from Xiaoniu, limiting his development to repetitive tasks. Although Xiaoniu feels helpless, the tough job market prevents him from quitting outright. How should he handle this situation?

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Guest Introduction

Arthur Chen – a nationally certified Level‑2 psychological counselor with 12 years of counseling experience. He has hosted more than 200 psychology‑related events, focusing on marriage and gender issues, career development, mental and physical health, peer counseling, and online interpersonal communication.

• Counseling hours: 4,500 h
• Training background: psychoanalysis, cognitive‑behavioral therapy, humanistic approaches, family therapy, group therapy, hypnosis, Gestalt, sandplay, OH cards, Rorschach inkblot test, dialectical behavior therapy, etc.

Guest Perspectives

1. Workplace issues should be viewed through three circles: the individual's work environment, the industry/company environment, and the broader societal context (city, etc.).
2. Changing jobs is increasingly difficult, so many endure oppression and swallow their grievances.
3. The workplace also bears industry pressures, and some strategies may be unfriendly to employees.
4. People rarely interact kindly because of underlying stress.
5. Workplace dynamics are tied to profit distribution.

Suppression

1. Cognitive level: differing perspectives on self between individuals.

2. Relational level: issues in the relationship between a person and another person/group, such as competitive relations (benign or intense) and dynamics of obedience and authority.

   • How to manage competitive relationships.

   • How to handle authority (obedience and being obeyed), especially interactions with “father‑type” figures and finding balance.

   • How to view personal development and navigate the socialization process.

   • We need to be seen, yet we cannot spend all our energy merely seeking visibility.

3. How to cope

   1. Best strategy: leave – do not self‑limit; there is rarely a situation that truly cannot be exited.
   2. Middle strategy: coexist with the suppression, e.g., cultivate a personal “small circle” where you retain control.
   3. Lowest strategy: “clever” resistance – gather evidence, maintain a balanced mindset, stay rational and emotionally stable, act professionally, and expose the other party’s shortcomings.

My Takeaways

1. Based on personal experience, whether facing suppression or PUA (psychological manipulation), first trust your own feelings and do not doubt your intuition. If possible, exit the environment or relationship as early as you can; prolonged exposure will inevitably affect you, and in the long run it’s detrimental. Many impacts may only surface years later.
2. Finally, workers must unite to resist PUA‑type bosses and oppressive supervisors. Don’t fall into internal conflict like stereotypical “Chinese infighting.”

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Product Manager | Reading | Travel | Psychology | Everyday Life​

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Originally written by Estela Young and published in Chinese on 一只产品汪的自白. Translated and edited for DriftSeas with permission.