A Man Called Ove Decides to Die

A Man Called Ove Draws Me In

No more preamble—watch the trailer of the eponymous film first, preferably with sound (the score is wonderful). The full movie is available on Youku.

The film won Best Comedy at the 29th European Film Awards (2016) and was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the 89th Academy Awards (2017). It holds a 8.9 rating on Douban and ranks No. 143 in Douban’s Top 250 movies.

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Now onto the main topic.

I first discovered Swedish author Fredrik Backman’s two books, A Man Called Ove and Anxious People, on the “徐慢慢心里话” public account. When I learned the former had been adapted into a film, I bookmarked it as well.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot of death‑themed books (for example, The Bucket List: A Hospice Worker’s Journal), so on a bored Saturday morning I decided to watch the movie first and, if it was good, read the book afterward.

That’s how I fell down the rabbit hole. I watched the film, then dove into the novel; after finishing the book I watched the movie again, and now, while writing this post, I’ve replayed the trailer dozens of times and have been enthusiastically recommending it to friends.

It’s truly a wonderful story. Not only is the storytelling clever and constantly pulling you forward, but the quirky old man’s life also makes me both angry at him and moved to tears.

Ove’s tale made me wonder: when I reach 59, will I be able to look back on my life as openly, without regret, and with as much love as he does? How should we confront the hardships that life throws at us? What keeps us going, and what is the meaning of life?

One thing is certain: only love can help us transcend all suffering.

A quick note: although the film makes some moderate changes, it largely follows the novel’s plot. If you’re short on time, the movie is enough. Personally, I recommend reading the book (I finished it in five hours on WeChat Reading). The novel provides richer detail, explains many moments that feel abrupt or odd in the film, and—most importantly—lets you get to know Ove better.

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⚠️ Spoiler Warning – Proceed at Your Own Risk ⚠️

A Man Called Ove Is a Quirky Old Curmudgeon

At 59, Ove is a cantankerous character: grumbling, rigid, cynical, and cold‑hearted.

He logs every vehicle that breaks community rules and scolds the drivers, shouts “No cars in the neighborhood!” at anyone who dares to drive there, patrols the complex at 6:30 a.m. every single day, and corrects anyone who mis‑sorts the trash.

Is he helpful? Hardly. He ignores a longtime friend’s pleas for help fixing a water pipe, thinks the new neighbors are “idiots,” and despises the stray cat that hangs around his doorstep.

A puzzling man with an even more puzzling temperament.

A Man Called Ove Reaches His Breaking Point

Six months ago his wife passed away. That same week, the company where he’d toiled for thirty years told him he was being retired. He’s had enough—he doesn’t want to live anymore. He misses her terribly.

He tries various ways to end his life (hanging, carbon‑monoxide, lying on the tracks, a shotgun), but each attempt is thwarted by a random mishap, preventing him from succeeding.

Through each failed attempt we flash back to his memories.

He lost his mother as a child and grew up with a taciturn, engine‑obsessed father. At sixteen his father died, leaving behind a Saab, a dilapidated house, and a watch.

The crumbling house burned down in a fire, delayed because the blaze straddled the border of two fire districts that had to coordinate their response.

He wanted to enlist, but a medical exam revealed a condition that barred him.

Then he met her. Before her, his world was black and white; she brought colour—every colour.

He would ride a train for hours in the opposite direction just to hear her speak. He’d eat at home before a date so she could order whatever she liked. He was honest enough to confess on their first dinner date that he had lied about being in the military, even though it might mean never seeing her again.

They fell in love, married, she became pregnant, they moved into a row house, and before the baby arrived they took a trip to Spain—a blissful interlude.

On the return journey, the bus driver drove drunk and the bus plunged down a mountain. Ove, who had just felt the baby’s kick on the bus, lost the child forever. Moreover, his wife, barely surviving the crash, was left disabled and unable to have children; her dream of becoming a teacher was shattered.

He is helpless and furious, seething with rage. “He wants to destroy that driver, the travel agency, the guardrail on the highway, the winemaker—everything. One punch after another until every bastard is on the ground. That’s his desire. He vents his anger in the storage room, in the garage, on the pavement as he patrols the complex, but it’s never enough. Finally, he starts channeling his fury into letters.” He hates every white shirt.

Four years earlier she was diagnosed with cancer. Six months ago she left forever. The house is filled with her presence; he aches for her.

He decides he no longer wants to live. He decides to die.

A Man Called Ove Is Warmed by Love

In the end, Ove does not kill himself. (No spoilers here—just know that love ultimately saves him.)

He is, at his core, a good person who loves life and living. His intense love turns into a bitter hatred of God: why would God let the one person he cherished suffer so much? That hatred fuels his anger, which he wraps himself in.

I wept for Ove because he is such a good man forced to endure such hardship—God can be so unfair. Yet, throughout, Ove is continually warmed by love: his wife’s love, the love of others around him.

And love is the power that lets us transcend every trial.

Full stop. I wholeheartedly give this five‑star recommendation.

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Originally written by Estela Young and published in Chinese on 一只产品汪的自白. Translated and edited for DriftSeas with permission.